the art of gift-receiving

So.... anyone want a Hello Kitty bag?

See, I have this co-worker. She's a woman in her 40s, married, with one teenaged son, employed full-time. And I think she lives in a fantasy world of unicorns and puppies.

She's a dear, dear person. But she has this slight inability to realize that not everyone is exactly like her. This led to her making a birthday card for another co-worker (so nice! so thoughtful!) - a guy in his early 20's, with a crass sense of humor, who likes to discuss philosophy. And for the card, she picked a picture of a cute little cartoon mouse with a big ol' birthday cake. She was convinced he would love it. Correspondingly, she was devastated when yet another co-worker drew fangs on the little mouse to turn it into a vampire rat. The birthday boy, of course, appreciated the fangs a lot more than he did the cuteness. But she is just, I think, really incapable of understanding that someone else might not have appreciated something she loved.

I say all this by way of intro. A few months ago, for my birthday, this coworker was really, really excited to give me a gift she had picked out especially for me online. It was a Hello Kitty keychain. Bright pink and shiny. And, she excitedly pointed out, it had a special clip that makes it double as a zipper decoration as well. And she wanted to know, ecstatically, in which capacity I would use it.

After a few weeks, and a few near-despondent prompts of, "Have you decided yet where to put the keychain?", I broke down and attached it to my bag. Really, I don't care for Hello Kitty, but I also don't care much about my bag or what it looks like. So I put it on a little side zipper, and thought I had appeased her.

Fast forward to today. There is a running joke among my co-workers that I need a new bag, because my current one is rather tattered and torn, having serviced the last two years of my college career. And this dear lady decided a few days ago that she would get me a new one. And has told me for the last few days how excited she is to give it to me.

And today, she gave it to me.

And it's big, black and pink, and covered in hearts.... surrounding the huge face of a (velvety) Hello Kitty.

I had to try to keep the look of panic and something akin to disgust off my face. I tried to say politely, "Oh no, you are so sweet, but this really isn't something I'd use. You should give it to someone who will appreciate it more." She responded, "Oh, I know it's not as sturdy as your bag, so you don't have to use it. You can just keep it in your room as decoration."

Yeah. I should have just stopped there and taken it as an easy out. It's generally important to me to ingratiate myself to my coworkers. But really? A Hello Kitty BAG? Hanging up on my wall?

I tried one more time to give it back, and she looked like she was bordering on devastation. So I said, "Oh, you're so funny. Thanks. That's really sweet." And she giggled and was bright and happy and dancing in rainbows once more.

Sigh. Sometimes this job is more than I bargained for.